Difficult People

I've been struggling for some time with a friend who has become very difficult. I'm not sure what is going on with her, although I know there are some family stresses in her life in the past and present, and suspect she has not/is not dealing with them very well. And I don't mean to sound critical about that - I am concerned as a friend. For the second time in less than a week, this woman has blown up about something, and has ruined an event we had planned. Sometimes I feel that she is singling me out, for some reason, and has on more than one occasion, verbally attacked me because of something I believe in. Sometimes, like tonight, she is angry at a group of us for not doing something the way she wanted it done. She's pretty controlling and highly opinionated, and that's a big part of the problem. But I suspect it goes much deeper than that.

I've tried hard to figure out how to deal with this, and I'm at a loss. I feel that no matter what I do, I am always wrong in her eyes. There are many topics that I am afraid to discuss with my group of friends any more, because of her reaction in the past. And for that I am very sad. These women have been very dear friends for so many years, and our relationships are some of the best I've ever had in my life. I cannot discuss, for example, my work with the homeless, or my daughter's anxiety problems, or a bad day at work, for fear of being verbally blasted. I can't even discuss a recipe, because she always has a better way of doing it and she is always right. (And that is sarcasm - I don't cook that much!)

I KNOW that it is her, and not me, but that's not much of a consolation. I truly do not know what to do, or how to handle this, other than to reduce the time I am around this woman until she works through her issues. And, unfortunately, that probably means I reduce the time with my other friends as well, and I don't really want to do that. I'm trying hard to branch out and join other groups, get involved in other activities, etc. but it's really tough. I know that the other women in my group are upset and concerned about this friend as well, but none of us know how to help her or what to do. It's very frustrating for all of us.

I don't know how many people, if any, read this blog. For the most part, I write for myself. But if anyone does, and has any magical words of wisdom, please share.

I'm off to bed to try to sleep. I'm still pretty keyed up so that won't be easy, but......