So much has happened since my last blog. I'm still here, and currently really struggling with my emotions. There's multiple reasons why...
First, the foot. I'm still wearing "the blasted boot" and am so sick of it. It's bad enough to have to clump around with the darn thing on, but sleeping while wearing it is virtually impossible. So I'm sleep deprived too and, after a month, it's getting really old. I see my doctor on Monday and will probably get to quit wearing it during the day, but I know that I'll have to continue using it at night. I know it's for the best, so that my foot will continue to heal well - and I know it helped my right foot heal after the same surgery 3 years ago. But right now, in my foggy mind, it doesn't really matter. I just want a good night's sleep! Even taking Tylenol PM isn't helping any more. And it's certainly not helping the rest of the emotional crap.
I'm very concerned about the health of one of my dear sisters, who's been fighting a health crisis for several years. There's a new complication, and things aren't good. I'm terribly worried about her - but also about my brother and younger sister. They've been so close to her, and this is very difficult for them. We've all lost so many family members over the past few years, and the times we spend together are even more important because of that. We'll all stick together and help each other but...... this is so hard.
I learned earlier this week that a good friend, one of the owners of the fabric shop where I sometime work, has been very ill. She developed a strep infection in the index finger of her right hand and, inspite of antibiotics and other treatment, had to have the finger amputated on Thursday. I hate that for her - she's such a sweet lady and never stops sewing, so this is going to be a difficult thing for her to handle.
I'm tying hard to deal with it, but tonite I am feeling particularly low, and very alone. Last year, on the night before Easter, I had my first date with S - and I can't help remembering how wonderful that was - and how good it felt to have someone care about me. Try as I might, I can't quite get him out of my mind. Time will help, I know, but tonite I feel like crap about it.
Life just really stinks sometimes. For all of these reasons.
