I had a date last Saturday night, the first since the relationship with S ended in December. Of course, I met this fellow J thru an online dating site, and after emailing for a while and then a week or so of phone calls, we decided to meet for dinner at a casual restaurant in a busy shopping center not too far from home. I was a bit skeptical, based on his profile and our conversations, but figured it wouldn't hurt to meet.
Well, from the minute he got out of his car, I knew that this was a shipwreck. Unkempt isn't nearly strong enough of a word, and I don't believe he'd ever had any dental work. We entered the cafe and studied the menu, and it was apparent he'd never been there before nor understood the concept (not a difficult one either). I insisted on paying for my own meal, because I didn't want to be obligated in any way - nor did I feel good about causing a problem with the very tight budget he mentioned frequently.
We settled into a booth and began eating and talking - at least, he talked, I listened. I was lectured and preached at for the next hour (it felt like a day), about politics and religion and everything else under the sun. If I questioned something he said, or disagreed, he increased the volume of his voice and kept going. Among other things, I was informed that God forgives me for getting divorced because my husband committed adultery. Like I needed to hear that! I learned that he was raised in the Jewish faith, spent over 10 years as a Jehovah Witness, and is now Baptist. He quoted scriptures right and left, and obviously, in his opinion, knew all the answers. Not a particularly endearing quality.
I tried hard to smile and pretend I was listening, all the while trying to figure out how to get out of this situation. My friend K had offered to call me to give me an "out" if needed and I was kicking myself for not taking her up on that offer. The more he talked, the louder he got and I knew that other diners were looking at us. I was embarrassed and mad -mostly at myself for getting into this situation.
Finally we finished eating and I excused myself to the ladies room, taking my purse with me, praying that I would get a cell phone signal in there (I did!). I called Kay and quietly mumbled "please call me in like an hour" into the phone (fearing he might hear my voice). At that moment, someone KNOCKED on the door - so I abruptly hung up, flushed and washed my hands. Upon leaving the rest room, I discovered that it was a female employee checking to see if she could come in to clean - so I wasn't caught after all. Whew!
We went outside to sit at a table in the middle of the parking lot (away from other people was my thought), and continued to talk (and argue) about everything and anything. At one point, when I disagreed with a statement he made, he assured me it was accurate because he had seen it on You-Tube. And THAT'S an authority? Unreal.
Finally my cell phone rang, and I proceeded to converse with K about her bad back and agreed to come and take her to the emergency room. I politely apologized, thanked him for meeting me for dinner, and tried to get to my car. It took 10 minutes before I could get away from him. I drove around the corner and waited to make sure I saw his car pull away, then drove down the block to the bookstore where K and another friend were having coffee (and waiting to find out what had happened).
After some laughs and me groaning, "why do I do this to myself", I headed home. By mid-day Sunday, he had emailed me and called both my house and cell phone (I didn't answer). Finally, I knew I had to get it over with - and sent him an email. I tried hard to be polite and explained that I felt we had too different opinions about some important issues, and that I didn't feel we had much in common. He got the message, sent me back a snippy email and I suspect that will be the end of it.
So why DO I do this to myself? I'm not all that lonely, not desperate, but I sure would love to have someone in my life to spend time with sometimes. I don't do bars, go to church but single men don't - where else does an over 50 single woman meet men? I have NO idea.
Back to sewing and spending time with my girlfriends I guess.
On a happier note, I'm looking forward to a trip to my cousin's Mountain House - my favorite place on earth. With all the work-related stress of the past couple months, I'm so ready for this vacation. Maybe I'll meet a mountain man - ---- NOT!!!!
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